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Personal Relationship Schemas

Subjugation

Abandonment

Triggers anxiety, fear

Core Thought:

One’s needs never take priority

Deprivation

Triggers sadness, hopelessness

Core emotion:

Anger & frustration

Subjugation

Triggers shame, humiliation

Maladaptive Coping:

Rebellion, not committing

Mistrust

Triggers rage

Fixation:

1. I feel controlled

2. It is always your way, never mine

3. Being eager to please

Task:

1. Assert your own wishes

2. Become aware of your resentment over being controlled

Career or Community Schemas

Unlovability

Exclusion

Triggers anxiety

Core Thought:

Feeling I am flawed

Vulnerability

Triggers fear of catastrophes

Core emotion:

Shame & humiliation

Failure

Triggers deep self-doubt and anxious sadness

Maladaptive Coping:

Hide yourself

Perfectionism

Triggers sadness at a sense of failing, no matter how hard you try

Fixation:

If someone knows me better, they will reject me

Entitlement

Triggers lack of empathy for those who take advantage of you

Task:

Challenge your self-doubt

Deprivation

Core Thought:

People will leave me all alone

Core Thought:

All my needs won’t be met;

Core emotion:

Fear, anxiety & panic

I can’t be understood or

Maladaptive Coping:

Anxious attachment or putting up with a bad relationship

cared for

Fixation:

Awaiting signs someone will leave

Core emotion:

Sadness & hopelessness

Task:

1. Learn to trust in connections

2. I can be solitary and content

Maladaptive Coping:

1. Making demands

2. Not revealing your needs

Fixation:

Looking for signs of being neglected

Task:

1. Become aware of how you distort another person’s actions

2. Communicate your needs

3. Seek emotionally available partner

Mistrust

Core Thought:

People can’t be trusted

Core Thought:

People can’t be trusted

Core emotion:

Rage

Fixation:

Constantly vigilant in relationships, fearing people will take advantage of them

Maladaptive Coping:

Suspicious of everyone, avoiding new relationships

Task:

Form relationships of trust; don’t put up with abuse